Define "Define"

    Define.  What an interesting word.  You find out you have Bipolar and people say, “Don’t let that define you!”  You’re diagnosed with any mental illness and people say the same thing.  “I think I’m autistic.”  “Don’t let that define you!”  What does that mean?  What does it mean to not let something define you? 

Oxford Languages dictionary defines define as follows:

verb

1. state or describe exactly the nature, scope, or meaning of

Similar:  explain expound interpret describe

2. mark out the boundary or limits of

Similar:  determine establish fix specify designate decide

   Okay, so which definition makes the most sense?  Don’t let Bipolar describe exactly the nature or meaning of your life.  Don’t let anxiety mark out the boundary or limits of your life.

   I always saw the phrase, “don’t let this define your life!” as a negative phrase.  But let’s look even deeper into this word, define.

   In Old French, defenir, definir “to finish, conclude, come to an end; bring to an end.  Directly from Medieval Latin diffinire, definire, from Latin definire “to limit, determine, explain.

   So, don’t let depression finish your life; don’t let anxiety conclude your life.  Don’t let autism limit your life.  Don’t let your mental illness explain your life. 

   As I study the origin of the word, define, I am finding that this phrase, “don’t let things define your life!” is really quite a powerful phrase.  It means, your life is not over because you have schizophrenia or that your life has come to an end now that you have been diagnosed with OCD.  You CAN live a wonderful life!  Do the things that you have always wanted to do!  If challenges arise because of your mental illness or whatever it is you have, you can still find a way to do what you want.  You may need to reach out and ask for extra help, which is true strength.  

   In Gay Hendricks’ book, “Five Wishes” he states, 

“I soon discovered a magical surprise: any significant act of completion unleashes a hidden power, rocket fuel for manifesting your heart’s desires.”

   Anytime you complete a significant act, no matter what you have, you will have the “fuel” or energy you need to fulfill your heart’s desires.  What a marvelous thing!  You have to first act, then you receive what you need to complete it.  Gay Hendricks also says,

“The dictionary says that completion is finishing something and making it whole.”

   Even though you struggle with mental illness or have different brain wiring, you can still complete or live your life, making it whole. You can still live a happy life.

Forgiveness

   Forgiveness is scary.  You have to humble yourself.  You must admit that you hurt another human being, a member of our human race family.  You have to put yourself out there. 

What if they don't forgive you?  What if they do not accept your apology?

 
   I'm fairly certain that many of you have heard this before:  forgiveness isn't about the person you're forgiving, it's about you letting go of that hurt.  Letting go of the lower vibrations and feelings that are holding you down, holding you back, keeping you stuck in that one place in time.  It's about YOU CHOOSING to move forward.  YOU are CHOOSING to LET IT GO. 

BE

This is a super rough draft, but I just want to get this out in to the world NOW.

It doesn't always matter what is going on outside of us, but rather what is going on inside of us.  This is a time for each one of us, to go within.  To really get to know ourselves.  It's a time to think, ponder, and pray.  It's a time to eliminate the old programs and beliefs in us that no longer work.  It's a time to work on ourselves and be who WE WANT TO BE, not who anyone else thinks or wants us to be.  THIS is a time for us to change the world.  Different entities and groups of people are trying to scare us and inject us with fear, but we have the opportunity to inject ourselves with HOPE, PEACE, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, KINDNESS, LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER, LOVE FOR OURSELVES, OPPORTUNITY, LIGHT, and so much more.  Whatever you want your life to be, it can!  THIS IS THE TIME TO MAKE BIG CHANGES IN OUR INNER LIVES that will effortlessly manifest in the flesh, or manifest in our physical, outer lives.  Our external life is simply a reflection of our own selves.  When we converse with others, what we see and hear is a mirror for ourselves.  This is the time to be accountable and responsible for our actions and forget about blame.  Love one another and communicate.  Remember that others have struggles, just like we do.  We are a community, we are the human race.  Let us believe in one another, let us love one another, let us give to one another, let us care for one another.  Instead of pointing and judging, let us learn to help and lift.  It is a time to mend broken bonds, a time to build an anchor, build ourselves on a rock that will never move.  A time to come together as humans, as the human family that we are; where there is no poor among us for we care for every single person, as a family.  This is what this time needs to be.  This IS the time to change the world.  Mahatma Ghandi said,

"We but mirror the world. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.  We need not wait to see what others do."

What change do you want to see in the world?  What change will you be in the world?

It is our time to ACT, NOW.

Bringing love and hope to your home and heart,
Megan DeVocht

Growing Up

  I've been dealing with/experiencing depression and anxiety since around the ages of 12 and 13.  I believe that I it started in junior high.  I am now 31.  Just this week I realized that I have been in denial of this mental illness I have, for years.  I've been on medication and I've gone off of them.  This is officially my third time on medication, but I did take some for a few weeks last year, so technically, my fourth time, but I don't really count those few weeks.
   Every other time I have been depressed, I feel like a kid; I don't know the exact age, but like a six to nine year old.  This time though, mostly yesterday night, I felt like an eleven or twelve year old, a tween, if you will.  It feels cool to feel this way.  :) I'm growing up! 
   As I accept more that yes, I, Megan DeVocht, have an illness, that needs to be treated, the more me I feel like; just right now it's in a kid kind of way.  I bought this beautiful candy red sweater!  It's totally like a Christmas sweater that can also be worn on Valentine's day as well as any other day.  It has hearts on the front and the sleeves.
   The vibe I'm feeling is similar to Stranger Things Season 1, especially the last episode, when it's Christmastime.  Actually, I feel similar feelings and vibes about myself that I do when I watch Stranger Things Season 1.  So fun!
 

Who We Are Really

Human beings are so interesting.  On the surface, or rather, on the outside appearance we seem to be just fine, all is in order.  But who we really are, our real life nightmares, our struggles, our dreams, our wishes, wants, and desires, we carry around with us, hoping to find a soul in whom we can trust and share our world with.  We try and many times we make poor judgments; we make mistakes that really hurt us.  But then there are times when we make the right choice, we find someone with whom we connect and we can open ourselves up and be vulnerable.  It's both scary and exciting.  It's such a sweet joy to be able to just be you, without holding back, without worrying what others are going to say about you, free to be you.

I absolutely love it when I find these people.  My world opens up.  I get to share me, Megan, with others and when I do, I always learn something about myself and accept more of who I truly am.

Who we see at work or school or church most likely aren't who they really are.  We hold back, because we don't want to get hurt.  And also, some people just don't care.  I'd rather open myself up to something and really connect and then lose that than baring my soul and the other person not even caring.  I guess it just kind of depends on what kind of pain you can handle.

I don't really know how people perceive me, but I do know myself and I can share some of that.

I often feel like I'm not good enough, that there are always others who can do it better or faster than me.  I feel like others have their lives not perfect, but pretty close.  I feel like I'm lost, I never know what to do with my life.  I've worked at a lot of going no where jobs.  I'm 30 years of age, but I feel like I'm somewhere in between 17-22.  I struggle with eating; and sometimes I feel like I'm being lazy or making it up because there are many times where I will look for food in the house, but I can't find anything and if I do, it's sweets; but if someone were to make it for me, I would eat it all up.  I have often felt like I'm a failure in life.  I didn't graduate from college, I don't have a career, I'm not married, I'm not even dating anyone; sometimes I feel like I'm not going anywhere, that I'm walking in circles.  Sometimes I feel so out of it, like everyone can see what a loser I am.

But, even with all of this, I strive to better myself and come closer to my Father in Heaven, my God and His Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I forgive others, I love others, I return to God when I fall off the path.  I may not have it all together, but I do try to make a difference in this world.  I try to listen to what the  Holy Spirit whispers to me; I try to be there for others.
I am so grateful for this life, the good and the ugly.  I'm grateful for friends and unexpected friends who really help me out.  I'm really grateful for my current job; it may not be a glamorous one or whatever else, but it's home, it's family.

So even though it may seem that we're all fine, most of us are probably carrying some burdens and could use a warm smile, a genuine compliment, a listening ear, and especially understanding.  I believe that this world would be a little brighter if we just tried to understand one another a little bit more.

Thanks to anyone reading this, it helps to get all these crazy emotions out.

Lots of love,
Megan :)

Change

   Change is coming; it's all around us, but this time it's stronger, it's a combined effort to energetically change ourselves and the world.
   It's interesting: last summer I was making a lot of changes and overcoming some pretty tough obstacles in my life.  I was drawn to certain kinds of music and songs and I could feel my spirit and soul changing, or rather connecting, I was becoming more aware of everything.  Then I moved and I got caught up in the world and my obstacles again.  It's just now that I am actually getting back on track to where I was last summer and I am so happy that I get to get back on the path, that I'm choosing this for myself.
   Happiness lies in each one of us.  We don't need to go out looking for it, in work, in school, in love and relationships, in food, in fun things; all we ever need as individuals is inside, not outside.  All these other things are, what I like to call, bonuses.  They don't make me happy, but when I am already happy I sure do enjoy them and they definitely add to my life.

Be Courageous: Stand Up and Be Who You Really Are

   I am passionate about writing.  I love combining letters to express the mess of emotions of human life experiences.  In the past few years, I have been pushing away the things that I love, including writing, but I am working on rectifying that.
   I have been learning a lot more about myself as I allow myself to explore and feel; I guess, when I take down the masks and walls I have been wearing most of my life.  Just now I was reading an article with some cool quotes; these two resonated with me very well:  

"Be true to yourself, always.  Never be afraid of who you are."

And:

"You don't have to hide who you are."

   

   And one of my most favorite quotes by e.e. cummings: 

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

It's very interesting to me that these three quotes mean so much to me because I have struggled with what they preach.  I've held onto e.e. cummings' quote for many years now.  It was a little seed planted in my heart and little by little it gave me the courage to grow up and become who I really am.  Well, I don't believe I'm quite there yet, but I'm more there now than I was ten or 15 years ago.

   I also read in another article online to choose spiritual practices that resonate specifically with you.  Writing is a practice that opens up my heart.  Listening to inspiring and uplifting music helps invites my soul to wake up and come be apart of the human experience.  Certain music really, seriously helps me to be more creative, to find more descriptive words and imagery to better express me.

   It's in the quiet moments I give myself, where I can be me without any judgments or worries.  It's a time where I can truly love me for who I am, not who I pretend to be.

  As I accept who I am, my gifts, talents, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses, as I am true to who I am, as a spirit and a human being, I begin to understand my life, my life purpose and the great work I am doing to save mankind.  As I raise my vibrations I inadvertently invite others to do the same.  

   We are a great consciousness, united and connected together.  Several of us are waking up and realizing this and making better choices because of it.  Better choices are the ones I described previously: being true to who we are!

   I don't know about anyone else, but I can feel a change coming; I can feel a uniting force bringing us together, fortifying our strengths and leading us into a victorious battle!

   Lift up you arms, my friends!  And let us fight together!