The truth is, sometimes I'm a wishy washy person. I don't know what my favorite movie is, I don't what my favorite candy is. Then there are the bigger things, I don't know what I want to do with my life - specifically - like if I want to go to school and if I do, what do I want to study.
Okay, so you're driving in a car, at night and you have your headlights on, but not your brights, just the regular kind. And you can only see what, ten feet ahead of you at a time. You may or may not know where you are going, but you trust that you will get to your destination, even while only being able to see ten feet ahead of you at time. Okay, this is how I feel about my life. Not just today or last week, but my whole life, all 26 years. And there are other people that are driving in the day and can see for miles and then look at me and wonder why I don't have any plans for myself. Well, the other part of the story is this: along my life journey, I stop at odd spots and smell the flowers, really smell them, and stop off at odd convenient shops and buy a ton of treats - mostly consisting of sugar - and enjoy the view for 10-15 minutes, and maybe even grab something to tape into my journal.
I guess what I'm saying is that my life is different than yours or anybody else's, so don't worry, I'll be okay. I don't want a fancy car or a fancy house or be a billionaire; all I want is a little space for me to be me and just BE. That's all I ask for. And with that little space to be me and just be, I will invite others in, I will help others and be there for them. I feel like I need to be available for others, in whatever that means to them.
It seems like I often have crossroads in my life - which road do I take? Or do I make a new one entirely? And sometimes I feel like I'm making no progress and I'm walking around in circles. And then during my 'mid-life' crisis, haha not that bad, someone says something that makes sense and all is well and I am calm again. (Not at that point yet)
Well, it's been great to get all this out, even if no one reads this.
Until next time,
Megan
