Feeling Anxious

I'm excited to serve a mission; though also scared and nervous as well. This is the biggest and hugest step in my life that I've ever done. Everyone expects me to be cool and normal about it. It's big, big for me. I've always been the little stinker running around with Jenny. Now I'll be serving the Lord full-time for 18 months. I really want to, but that doesn't mean that I'm not scared about doing it either. I haven't been myself and yet I have been myself. At times, I'm really anxious and I don't know why. I know I've only received my mission call a week ago and I'm glad of that. I think once my neighbor receives his mission call, which I think he did today, but he's not home yet, I'll be able to breathe a little easier. I don't feel like myself today, but I don't not feel like myself today. It feels odd. Like two of me is trying to live at the exact same time. I don't know what I feel. Or how to feel.

A friend of mine is throwing a little party in celebration in receiving my mission call.

Sorry, I was interupted by my neighbor. Which was very good indeed. For he did receive his mission call and came over to tell us the good news!!!

Actually, I do feel a little better. Maybe tonight will be good. Even though I didn't invite all of friends, it will do for now. Perhaps when I'm not as anxious as I am now, I, or someone else, will throw another party. You can't have too many parties to intend to :)

Well, I must go get ready now, since I'm in no fashion to mingle with friends.

Until next time
This has been
S.T. Harriot

Happy is rain on a summer evening

I have come to discover that 'feelings' aren't just your happy and sad, mad, glad, upset, angry, type of feelings. There's more to it than that. An experience, or memory can have a feeling that you can only feel when that situation is around, or it's over with each experience you have. But sometimes you can reminisce certain feelings while thinking about an experience you could have. I love those feelings. Feelings you can't describe in one word. It's not happy, it's a million other things. Like happy is rain on a summer evening. Happy is a sincere smile from a loved one.

Songs can also create great memories. Whether it be one night, a week, a month, a year, or a chapter in your life. And then that song can change feelings, I mean, you can have a certain feeling with a song; but then that feeling changes because you have created new feelings and new memories with that song.

I love how all this mushy stuff is all connected. It makes me so happy!!!

It's kind of weird, actually; because whenever I get on here to write/type something, I have NOTHING to say. But when I'm at work, going to sleep, anywhere esle really, I have a million ideas. Then as soon as I log on, it's like someone came and took all my ideas!!! Oh well, I haven't been writing a lot lately, so I'm probably just a little rusty.

Well, yet again, I have run out of things to say, sad day.
Until next time
This has been
S.T. Harriot