I'm screaming out loud for help but....

Yesterday I was feeling really low and depressed. I didn't do much yesterday and I beat myself up for that. Most of the day, I sat on the bathroom floor, with the stereo on the toilet, listening to music while I 'clipped' more like butchered my toenails. When Dad came home we ate dinner and then I had the energy and motivation to start packing for school. After awhile I got distracted looking at some books that I had brought up from downstairs. I started doing some other nervous/anxiety habits. I started feeling down again. I wanted to cry. I texted Emily and expressed some of my feelings.

I'm nervous. I'm a little depressed. My facebook status says: I'm screaming out loud for help but no one can hear me. Maybe I'll write a song.

It seems like lately I've been having lots of pity parties. I'm up then down. Up then down. Over and over again. I beat myself up. I try to seek help but every one is too busy to hear me cry, to see the blood that is flowing so freely from the wounds that I have made, to hold me close and just BE and LOVE. I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. Why can't people understand that I need help? I'm screaming out loud for help but no one can hear me.

It seems like poetry is flowing so easily from my lips