Recharging Myself

This is one of my most favorite music videos. Enjoy!




I'm sorry I'm not very lively and festive right now. I took about a 2 hour nap and woke up close to 8. Then I ate some dinner, not much, and got started in packing; well, I had started earlier in packing my smaller suitcase but then I got quite tired and had to go to sleep. And then this second packing was for all my "worldly" things that I would not be taking with me on my mission. If you've seen the photos of my room, and the fact that it has taken me this long and it's still not clean, then you can probably guess how horrible it was for me tonight to pack. And it was hot. Oh, I just have too much junk. But that's not true because I don't really have any junk just a lot of papers, and cards, and letters, and all sorts of things. And while I was packing and moving and doing all sorts of things, I was listening to Narnia: The Magicians Nephew. I really do love listening to these books because they are so wondrous and the words they use are quite lovely and the way they are put on paper and the way they are spoken is almost like an enchantment of kind. The words are delicious in your mouth and you just want to eat it all up and never have to eat again. And then after you've listened to these books for awhile, you tend to speak and write differently. But it is a very good differently and very lovely indeed. Well, that was most extraordinary: At the beginning of this post, I did not feel creative or clever or lovely in any way. I felt very draggish and stupid. Amazing how that has changed in accordance to talking about Narnia.





I'm listening to Ashley's music on her blog while I'm trying to upload some self-portraits; and I REALLY like her music. Like it's just what I need right now. Thanks Ashley!





I know I've been spending a lot of time on the computer lately. But I think I'm just trying to get everything ready before I go on my mission, that's all, or at least I think so. I think I may be also trying to find myself and perhaps define who I am. And maybe also, like Ashley and I talked about, to recharge myself and have some me time. I rather like it and am surprised at how much I like to blog. I think it's my new hobby and talent. I think it's also another way to express myself. I am actually really, very grateful for blogs. They're different than journals, much different. For one, no one usually reads anyone else's journal. This is a public journal and it's almost like a journal meant for our friends and family and loved ones to see what truly goes on in our lives and what we think is really important. I am glad that I can have this to sort out all my thoughts and really see me. To be me and to see me and to breathe me. I had talked about earlier what my love language is. They say that you can't love others unless you love yourself. Well, why shouldn't we speak the same love language to ourselves that we wish others would speak to us in order for us to feel loved? We do need to be loved by ourselves. Everyone should love their own self. My love language is quality time and I think I give myself a lot of quality of time, with myself. I need a lot of alone time and I just thought of it now - maybe that's why I like the computer so much: Because then I can focus on whatever I want to on the computer and I am not obligated to speak with anyone else because in a sense I'm 'speaking' to the computer. This is making so much more sense to me now! I am truly blessed and truly happy!!!

I have also noticed that often times, or most times really, I'll start my blog and not mean it to be long at all, just saying a few quick things and then my mind starts turning and I start POURING myself out. I really do like it. And I really do feel most happy; and I feel loved by me. Isn't that amazing? That we can love ourselves that much and not be vain? Because as you can see this blog is a lot about me and it's deep and rich and I hope that you can see that I love myself, and what with all these pictures of myself, one would /might think that I am a very vain woman. But 'tis not so. It helps me to define myself, to discover who I really am, to see that this is who I am and I love this beautiful young woman called Megan DeVocht. Again, you may think I am vain, but I am not and I do not care what you think, no offense meant.



Well, here are some real pictures of me. Self-portraits, this is what I really think of myself and this is who I am and who I want to be.